Biblical Parenting and Spiritual Rabbi

A Sermon on Biblical Parenting

Shalom, my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
May I have a show of hands how many of you are parenting a child or plan to be a parent in the future? How many of you are leaders in Youth ministry or Children ministry? For the rest of you, do not doze off as every Christian is to be a Spiritual teacher. (Due to time, we can only cover a small part of the biblical teachings. To avoid sounding long winded, each time I use the words “Biblical Parenting”, those of you whom are not a parent shall read in your mind as “Spiritual Teacher”).

Let’s take a look at what the bible says about parenting and being a Spiritual teacher. I will be reading Deuteronomy 6: 4-9 from the New Living Translation.

Deuteronomy 6 (NLT)
4 “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.
5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.
6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.
7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.
8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders.
9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

The above verses are referred to as Shema. The Jews are to recite them twice a day. So what are the verses saying about biblical parenting? (For those who are not parents…. Spiritual teacher).
The first thing about biblical parenting is, LOVE GOD. Some of you might be thinking, Jonathan, haven’t you gone out of point. Who does not know that every Christian must love God. We are talking about parenting here!

Jesus said in John 15, He is the Vine and we are the branches. We are to be connected to Him to bear fruits. This brunch needs to be connected to the grape vine to bear grapes (show grapes). If this branch is attached to vine of academic success, it will grow As. If it is attached to vine of career, it will grow status and success of the world. Maybe if it is attached to money plant, you can harvest some money. If we are not connected to God, what values and teachings would we be passing down to our next generation?

How are we to love God? The bible says, to love God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.

The Heart in Hebrew is not so much the seat of emotion and feelings as in the English metaphors, but of the Intellect, Will and Intention (mind). There is biblical wisdom in the Chinese language, as 用心听，用心想, 用心看are commonly used. Hence, you think in your heart, and your heart shapes your Character, Choices and Decisions.

The Soul here does not refer to the soul that flies out of your body when you die. It means the Life of each individual, the Whole Inner Self, with all the Emotions, Desires, and Personal Characteristic that make each human being unique.
We are called to LOVE God with our WHOLE being.

And to love God with all your Strength does not mean that you need to go gym to pump up your biceps and work out a six packs, and say to God “I have all the muscles and I can love you with more strength”. I used to have six packs too, but due to global warming, they have melted to form one big lump.

The word Strength in early Jewish translation is translated as “your substance” or “your possession”.

If Jesus is here today, and He says to you, keep aside 10% of your pocket money or salary for my church? Would you do it? Is that what you taught your children? And if He says, my children in the third world countries are wearing slippers made out of plastic bottles , would you part with your saving for the next pair of NIKE shoes? And if Jesus says, my people need a church in Batam, would you part with your money meant for a bigger car or a bigger house? And if Jesus were to tell you today, put down everything you are doing and follow me, would we end up like the rich young man in the bible whom walked away sadly as he couldn’t part with his great wealth.

We are to love the Lord our God with Total Commitment (heart), with our Total Self (soul), to Total Excess!
With this Love, we are then able to parent with the right substance. Substance from above and not substance of the world.

So what’s next? In verse 7, repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.
Is the bible telling parents to Nag Nag Nag at your children all day long? The moment you wake up instead of saying good morning, you say “love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength”. During breakfast you repeat, “love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength”; when you are at home during the weekends, ”love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength”; when you are driving “love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength”; when you are going to bed “love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength”.
So what is this verse saying? SPEND TIME, yes, spend time with your children. In order to teach your children the biblical truth, you need to be around your children. The need to pass down the biblical truth to the next generation applies to all Christians.
Allow me to share the wisdom from the Chinese language again. 親is the繁体字of the word亲which means closeness and intimacy. This word is also used in父親，母親which means father and mother. So when the 见 (which means seeing) is removed from the 亲, how can they be intimate when they don’t get to see each other? (见不到还能亲吗？)
Some years back, I was a volunteer counsellor at a student care centre. I was shocked to hear from the children that they spent only 20-30 minutes each day with their parents. If they do spend time together, guess what they would be doing? Watching TV and doing shopping. I am not sure how much in depth sharing could happen during TV shows and shopping trips.

Parents spent a lot of time and money nurturing their children, right from the time when the child is a foetus in the mummy’s tummy. In pre-natal education, parents-to-be would play classical music and read to their unborn child. I heard they have added a Mathematics programme to the list. Imagine your new born child would be able to respond when you ask him what is one plus one, and he can stretch out his hand to show you a two (action). And make sure you choose the right classical music, as too much of Beethoven (te te te thennn) may generate too much energy in the tummy for your child (hair standing picture ).
Instead of following the trend, why not do it differently by breathing the fragrance of Jesus Christ on your child.

Just to share with you about my baby Zephan. When he was in mummy’s tummy, I laid hands and prayed for him, sang Christian songs to him. Each time, he would respond by giving me a high five or a kick. Hence, he was very sensitive to my voice. Jesus said “my sheep hear my voice” and I would say “my son recognises my voice”. When he was a few months old, each time he sees me he would give me a big smile and starts to kick and wave with excitement (see picture ). When he sees my wife, this was his expression (see picture ). There was a period of time when I was very busy with work and studies and didn’t spend much time with him. This time round it became the reverse. When he sees my wife, he would give a big smile (picture ); when he sees me, he would just stare at me and gave me a blur look.

Parents and leaders, I believe you see the importance of spending time with you children and your flock.

In order to stay connected to my children, as long as I do not have meetings, classes or work at night, we would gather before bed time to share our happy and not so happy thing for the day; count our blessings and share about our challenges, then we take turns to read the bible and pray. One area we share often is how God has been faithful and providing all our needs despite daddy making less money after moving from the financial sector to community work.

Biblical parenting is not about bringing your children to church every Sunday and expects the youth leaders or Sunday school teachers to teach them. Parents, you are the primary teachers, and the youth leaders and Sunday school teachers only complement your teachings.

Parents in Singapore have advanced in technology. Now i-technology has replaced human in parenting. We often see toddlers and young children given smart phone or i-technology to play while their parents focus on something else. I-technology has indeed broken the nature of all human communication. The quality time that parents and children spend together are greatly impacted. Take a look at the cartoon taken from早报 。Isn’t this a common sight at home, MRT and buses?
Please set aside time each day to communicate with your children how Jesus has blessed you and your family.

Let’s take a look at verses 8 & 9 which spoke about tying biblical teachings to your hands, wearing them on your forehead as reminders, and writing them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Possibly due to the influence of the ancient near-east culture at that time, what was given as a metaphor was taken literally by the Jews and they inscribed some text of Exodus (13:1-10, 11-16) and Deuteronomy (6:4-9, 11:13-21) on scrolls (parchment) and enclosed them in small leather boxes called Phylacteries (or Te-fil-lin in Hebrew). They would bind them on their forehead and left arm (nearest to heart) during morning prayers (see slides).

In respond to verse 9, they hang a Mezuzah, which is a small box containing the Shema and some text from Deut 11 (v13-21), and attached it to the upper part of the right hand door frame.

Jesus commented on these practices done by the teachers of the law and Pharisees in Matthew 23:5, that “Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear robes with extra long tassels”.

Let’s take a look at the comparison of the ancient Phylacteries found in the Qumran cave and we will understand why Jesus was so upset. The one measuring 3.2cm x 1cm is to be placed at the forehead while the 1.3cmx2.1cm is to be placed at the left arm.
3.2cm x 1cm 1.3cm x 2.1cm
Look at the size of the later version which the Pharisees wore.

Some years back, Catherine and I went for holiday and saw a lady wearing a hugh jade of this size on her chest. We were like, wow, is it real? Try hanging a one kilo gold bar on your chest and see what happen.

Coming back to the scripture, the signs described in v 8 & 9 indicate that the individual, his home and his community were to be distinguished in their character, by obeying the biblical teachings as a response of LOVE for GOD. It is about Living Out our commitment to loving God totally, and this commitment is to be a public matter.

We have quite a few babies in the service today. When we look at them, we would always say “how cute” they are and how much they look like their daddy or mummy. Do you notice that your child don’t only look like you, but he/she would behave and speak like you. There is a new show on channel 8对对碰. The mother would constantly call her mother-in-law “stupid” and this was picked up by the child and the child would call her grandma “stupid” too. When told not to do so, the child said to the mother, 都是跟你学的。Yes, children learn by example. If you want your child to speak Grace and Blessings, you will have to lead by example.
Hence, Biblical Parenting is not about hanging a symbol to show the world we are Christian, but to keep these teachings at hand and right before one’s eyes; to be an example to our children on our obedience, commitment and LOVE for GOD; that this LOVE governs all activities inside and outside the house, so that we can be LIGHT and SALT for the world.

Due to time, I am not able to give you a step by step guide to parenting. But I believe the Holy Spirit has spoken to you through the video. May you continue to LOVE GOD, SPEND TIME and be LIGHT and SALT to your family and the world.